You may want to talk about:
- How you feel about dying
- What you are scared or worried about
- What care you want in the future
- Your funeral
- Special things you want to give to others
You do not need to talk about everything at once. Take your time.
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Family and Friends
Living with a life limiting illness and knowing you may be dying can feel very lonely, even when people are around you.
It can be hard to talk about being ill or dying.
But talking to your family and friends can help.
You might all feel a bit better once things are said out loud, even if the talk feels sad.
If you do not talk, people may worry more.
They may also feel far away from you.
Talking can help you and the people you love feel closer and face the future together.
Choose a quiet time and a place where you will not be disturbed.
You could start with a question like:
- “Can we talk about what’s happening to me?”
- “Would it be OK to talk about what might happen next?”
If the other person does not want to talk, you can say:
- “That’s OK. Maybe we can talk another time. It’s something I’d really like to do.”
It is normal to cry or feel sad when talking about death.
Letting out your feelings can help you talk more openly.
Talking is important, but writing things down can help too.
You might want to:
- Plan your care for the future
- Write a will (a will is a legal paper that says who gets your things after you die)
- Say what kind of funeral you want
- Make plans for your pets
- Tell your family what matters to you
You may also want to put important papers in one safe place and tell someone you trust where they are.
These might include:
- Your will
- Your funeral plan
- Bank or building society details
- Information about pensions and any benefits you receive
This can help make things easier for your family later on.
When someone a child loves is very ill and may die, it can be very hard to talk about.
People sometimes avoid the subject to try to protect children and themselves.
But children often notice when something is wrong. If no one explains, they may feel scared or confused.
They may even think the illness is their fault.
Talking kindly and simply can help children feel safe, loved, and less worried.
You can find helpful information on Child Bereavement UK. They offer advice to help you talk to children about illness and death.
The charity Hospice UK has a campaign called Dying Matters. It includes information about talking about death and dying, for carers and loved ones too.
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