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End of Life

Diagnosis

Hearing that you have a life limiting illness can feel overwhelming.

You may not understand everything the doctor says.

If you are on your own, you can ask a family member or friend to come with you next time.

You can ask the doctor simple questions, like:

  • What help is there for me?
  • Can I see a special care team who can help me feel more comfortable?

Your GP (your family doctor) can also help. You can ask:

  • What support is near me?
  • Is there information about my illness?
  • Can I get money to help me?
  • Are there groups or people I can talk to?

You do not have to face this alone. Many people want to help you.

The Leeds Palliative Care Network's website 

You may hear the words end of life care.
This means care for people who may be in the last year of their life.

The aim is to help people live as well as they can and to help them die with dignity.
It is hard to know when the last year starts, as it depends on you and your illness.

Over time, you might feel:

  • Shocked
  • Scared
  • Angry
  • Sad
  • Frustrated
  • Lonely
  • Relieved

You might feel all of these, or only some. Feelings can come and go.

There is no right or wrong way to feel. However you feel, you are not alone.

Not everyone feels ready to talk about their illness. But learning you have a life limiting illness can bring many worries.

Talking can help stop these worries from building up and becoming too heavy.

You might choose to talk to:

  • Your partner
  • Family
  • Friends
  • A doctor or nurse
  • A counsellor (someone trained to listen and support you)
  • A religious leader

People close to you may also feel sad or worried.

If it is hard to talk to them, you could talk to a counsellor instead.

Talking can help you feel less alone.

Find counselling on the Leeds Directory

If you cannot sleep at night, talking can help too.
You could call a friend, a family member, or a helpline like Samaritans.

Having a life limiting illness can feel scary and confusing.
You may have questions like:

  • What will happen to my body?
  • Will I still be able to do things on my own?
  • What will happen at work or school?
  • How much time do I have?

It is normal to feel upset when you do not know the answers.

Talking to people who have the same illness can help. Ask your doctor or nurse about local support groups for people like you.

You can also get help from charities like Marie Curie. They offer:

  • Local support groups
  • A free phone line
  • An online community where you can talk to others
  • Helpful information on their website

You can find other helpful charities on the Leeds Directory (LINK).

It is normal to feel shocked, sad, angry or helpless.
But if these feelings stay for a long time, or get worse, you might be depressed.
This means you may feel so low that you cannot do the things you want to do.

If this happens, talk to a doctor.
Medicines can help.
Counselling or CBT (a type of talking therapy that helps you change unhelpful thoughts) can also help you cope.

One step at a time

When things feel too big or too scary, try breaking them into small steps.
You can take things one day at a time.

Set small goals to help you feel more confident. For example:

  • Put family photos in an album
  • Visit a friend

You can still think about bigger things, like where you want to be cared for in the future.
But you do not need to do everything at once.

Write down your worries

If everything feels out of control, writing things down can help. It can show you what matters most. 

It can also help you talk to your family, friends or carers.

Look after yourself

Try to do things that make you feel calm or happy. Things like massage or nice smells (aromatherapy) can help you relax.

Your family and friends may also feel better when they see that you are looking after yourself.

Let people help you. You can ask for things like:
•    A lift to the doctor
•    Help with shopping
•    Meals to keep in the freezer

Last updated: 29/01/2025
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