You might want to talk about:
- How you feel about dying
- What you’re scared or worried about
- What care you want in the future
- Your funeral
- Special things you want to give to others.
You don’t have to talk about everything at once. Take your time.
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Family and Friends
Living with a serious illness and knowing you are dying can feel very lonely, even when other people are around.
It can be hard to talk about being ill or dying. But talking to your family and friends can help. You might all feel better once it’s out in the open, even if it feels sad.
If you don’t talk, it can make people worry more or feel far away from each other. Talking can help you and the people you love feel closer and face the future together.
Pick a quiet time and place where you won’t be disturbed.
You could start with a question like:
- “Can we talk about what’s happening to me?”
- “Would it be OK to talk about what might happen next?”
If the other person doesn’t want to talk, you can say:
- “That’s OK. Maybe we can talk another time. It’s something I’d really like to do.”
It’s normal to cry or feel sad when talking about death. Letting out feelings can help you talk more openly.
Talking is important, but writing things down helps too. You might want to:
- Plan your care for the future
- Write a will (who gets your things)
- Say what kind of funeral you want
- Make arrangements for your pets
- Tell your family what you want
You might also want to put important papers in one place and tell your family or friends where they are. These might include:
- Your Will
- Your funeral plan
- Bank and building society account information
- Information about pensions and benefits you receive
This can help make things easier for them later on.
When someone you love is very ill and might die, it can be hard to talk about. People might try not to talk about it to protect children and themselves. Even if nothing is said, children often notice when something is wrong and if no one explains they might feel scared, confused, or think it’s their fault. Talking kindly and simply can help children feel safe, loved, and less worried.
You can find helpful information and support at Child Bereavement UK to help you talk about this.
The charity Hospice UK runs a campaign called Dying Matters, which has information on talking about death and dying. There is information for carers and loved ones too.
